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Upstairs, Downstairs, Upstairs, Downstairs Albert's upstairs, flat on his back. Soothed by Harold's filial care and attention, not to mention the TV, liqueur chocolates, grapes and unlimited beer, his slipped disc is healing very slowly. Meanwhile Harold is out on the round - until he notices the mysterious disappearance of all the pink liquorice allsorts downstairs.... The Bath What a way to live! Harold's invited a "bird" for cocktails and his dad's eating pickles in the bath in the middle of the room. Something of a social stigma to say the least...! Porn Yesterday When Harold picks up an old "What the Butler Saw" machine on his round, the sordid contents threatens to turn the tables on his frequent cry of "You dirty old man". Unfortunately, the vicar thinks it's just the thing for his forthcoming fete... Seance In A Wet Rag And Bone Yard There are sprits all round and a half a bottle of them are in Albert. surely he hasn't really been talking to Ghandi? And So To Bed Harold's success with women hits rock bottom when the willing Marcia discovers insects in his bed. humiliated, he takes drastic action and buys a water bed from the Bayswater Bederama. Then Marcia is enticed back...

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